


and you can choke on your misery

by RyDyKG



Series: Insouciant [6]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, BAMF Clementine the Moth, Biased Narrator, Birds, Character Death, Dead Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Dead Wilbur Soot, Gen, Happy TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Light Angst, POV Multiple, POV Original Character, Potions, Protectiveness, Reaction, and they love shiny stuff, clementine can and will murder a bitch, day and night are cryptid cats, day and night are good accomplices, if people don’t want more, like technically they are but yknow, spoilers: it’s dream, 🦀 DREAM IS DEAD 🦀
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyDyKG/pseuds/RyDyKG
Summary: Tamed and named mobs can attack players. Clementine may just be a bird, but she’s powered by anger and vengeance, and so long as the Smile wanders around, she knows her boy will not heal.So naturally, she decides to kill the Smile.(alternative summary: local bird fuelled by rage and love murders a smiley green bastard, and everyone else laughs at the fact that the Big Evil got killed by abird.)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Clementine the Moth (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, TommyInnit & Clementine the Moth, TommyInnit & His Pets
Series: Insouciant [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061870
Comments: 62
Kudos: 609
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. on the offensive

**Author's Note:**

> title from Therapy by All Time Low
> 
> hihihhii sorry i’ve been writing lots of these recently but,,, listen i am everything but a dsmp!dream apologist ok? hate his guts
> 
> this, like all my other works, is not good. it will only appeal to a certain corner of the mcyt fandom. but y’know if you stumbled on this story thru a tag or whatever w/ zero idea of what this is,,,, hello :D! you don’t need to read any previous works in this to understand (but it would be really pog if you read the other works in this series bc I promise u they’re p good)
> 
> also also!! minor but crucial detail! in this, there’s two kinds of bottles: the normal ones, and the splash ones. you don’t need to craft the splash potions from the normal bottles in this au. ok thank you pls enjoy

Ever since Clementine had come across her boy in the sands, and she had allowed herself to be taken in, she’s developed a sense of protectiveness over her boy. Her kind usually doesn’t develop any bonds to players, especially since they seem to prefer the attack wolves instead, but her boy doesn’t seem to care for things like species and offensive ability.

The other animals around the house are equally protective of her boy. Day and Night have been around for longer than she has, and it took her quite a while before she convinced them that she means no harm to their boy.

Life around the nest is peaceful. Clementine does not have to hunt for food, because her boy will do it for her. He builds toys and places of fun for her and Day and Night, and he asks for almost nothing in return. She is more than happy to do whatever he tells her to, like fly to a certain place as he sets something up, or stay quiet when he needs it.

But even with all the peace, her boy is anything and everything but at peace.

Clementine is no fool. She sees how her boy keeps having nightmares of a particular individual. She hears his screams of pain and cries of agony, and she’s tired of being forced to watch her boy suffer, and being unable to do anything about it. Everytime after having those malicious dreams, he will wake up shaky and trembling, and she will make sure to land on his shoulders and rub her head against his cheek, to show that she’s here, and she will not leave him to suffer alone.

Day and Night help out too, by letting themselves be cuddled and hugged, and piling on their boy until he sleeps. On those days, his dreams are lighter, and Clementine makes sure to keep watch for any enemies.

But still, it is not enough. The problem lies elsewhere, somewhere further from the peace and quiet her nest has. And after flying out and around, she finds the one who matches up to the description of the enemy.

Her boy always likes to draw his nightmares and tear them up, as a form of comfort. Her boy is a very good artist, so it is not hard to find the one who matches the picture of the one who keeps appearing on papers.

The Smile.

Dressed in a green that her ancestors would’ve never been caught dead having their feathers coloured as, and usually wearing lots and lots of shiny purple, the Smile is the bane of her boy’s existence. And because of that, she loathes his existence.

He is the reason her boy is suffering. And if she wants to get rid of her boy’s suffering, she has to get rid of _him_.

Tamed and named animals can attack players. Clementine may just be a bird, but she’s powered by anger and vengeance, and so long as the Smile wanders around, she knows her boy will not heal.

So naturally, she decides to kill the Smile.

Her mission will not be an easy feat. Clementine is small and a bird. She cannot wield the sharp sticks or the long rubbers that players use, nor will she be able to hold a barrier to defend herself. No, she needs something better. Something easier to hold and use.

Like the breaking glasses that her boy uses to heal her and the cats whenever they get hurt. After all, if there’s one to heal, surely there must be one to hurt?

Clementine is smart. She watches as her boy reads, and she peeks at the words from his shoulder. She sees the pictures, and they match with the breaking glasses that heal, although it is in a drinking glass instead. She does not know some of the words, but her boy teaches her to make them, even though she knows he does not think she will have any use for them.

‘Nether warts’ are what the bubble sprouts are called. ‘Glistering melons’ are the golden and red seeds. ‘Gunpowder’ is the grey ashes. Clementine recognises and memorises them. She makes a note on where to get the breaking glasses and not the drinking glasses — on the upper stash on one of the cabinets.

Her boy, ever so kind and loving, shows her how to make some. Clementine watches as the ingredients are put in, and the liquid pours into the bottles, slowly filling them up. The liquid bubbles as her boy screws corks into the holes.

The liquids are a dark red colour. Clementine decides to call them ‘blood potions’.

“Obviously, I would never make you drink these,” her boy tells her as he puts them in a high cabinet, and locks it. “And don’t drink these yourself, because you’ll get very hurt, alright?”

Clementine chirps. She now knows what to do.

“What have you been up to recently?” Day asks her, shifting from her resting position to stand up as Clementine flies into the living room. “You’ve been busy. Did something happen?”

“No,” Clementine responds, short and quick. “I have just discovered something concerning our boy, and I am working to take care of the problem.”

“Without us?” Night frowns, stretching languidly, although her eyes are guarded. “You know we would do whatever to take care of the problem too.”

“I am working to take care of it,” she repeats. “The Smile will notice you. He will not notice me.”

Day and Night stare at her. Clementine stares back. Before she heads off, she must get the acceptance from the two cats, and she will do whatever she must to convince them.

“Do what you must,” Night purrs eventually, leaping onto the couch gracefully. “So long as you get revenge for our boy, we will not stop you.”

“Bring some loot back for our boy too!” Day chimes in. “It will be justice for our boy to destroy what the Smile has.”

“I will,” Clementine responds. “I hope you don’t mind, but I need you to distract him for me.”

“Sure!” Day giggles. “We can do that. Right, Night?”

“Anything will be fine, as long as you get revenge for our boy,” Night repeats, and Clementine flies away, the conversation having already ended. 

She will set out tonight. The Smile will be bound to be wandering around.

Clementine stays up until she is sure that her boy is asleep. Then, she flies out of her resting nest, and lands just besides Day, who stares back at her with wide eyes.

“I need your help to open the cabinet doors, if you will,” she says. Day needs no more explanation, because she hops off their boy’s stomach, and follows her to the kitchen.

With her beak, Clementine shoves the breaking glasses into their respective slots, and slowly unscrews the corks. Day helps to put the ingredients in, one by one. She also tries to bat at the bubbles in the glasses, but Clementine is strong enough to stop her from doing so.

When the liquid finishes pouring out, she takes them out one by one, and puts them aside as she drags three more breaking glasses into their slots. When all of them are done brewing, she searches for something to carry them with.

One of her boy’s bags is slung over a chair. Clementine carefully places the blood potions inside, and Day helps her with doing so. When they are all inside, Day helps her carry the bag to a window, where she also helps her push it open.

“Good luck,” Day calls, soft enough that their boy will not awake, as Clementine carries the bag with her claws. “Come back safe.”

She nods, and takes off.

Clementine is small, so it makes it all the easier to sneak out and fly unnoticed. The clouds brush their coolness against her wings as she flies high above, but the Moon Goddess enlightens her way, and she knows this is the Goddess’ way of telling her that her mission is noble and just.

She is careful to not let her bag fall and splash, or else that would be very bad. The potions have not been easy to brew, and she does not have much time for her mission.

She flies far out. Eventually, she sees a lot of buildings cluttered in a single area, and knows that she has arrived at her destination. She swoops higher, to make sure she is not spotted too easily, and that she can see those below her easily as well.

The Smile is easy to spot. The green stands out starkly, and so is the shiny purple. That is normal. What is not normal are the players surrounding the Smile.

No matter. The other players are not her target; the Smile is.

The bag is swung over a tree, not too far from the Smile. Clementine makes sure that it will not fall, before quickly beginning her plan.

She picks up one of the blood potions, and carries it with her claws as she flies above. Making sure she is angled just above the Smile, she lets go of the potion, and as soon as it hits the Smile’s head, she is flying back to the tree to get another potion.

Another potion lands on the Smile’s head, and Clementine finds pleasure in the way the Smile seems to panic. She rushes back to grab a third potion, even as she hears a few voices cry out, possibly upon spotting her.

She does not care for the people talking to the Smile. She does not care about what they might think. Her business is solely with the Smile, and she has to complete it before her boy notices her absence.

The Smile tries to eat a gleaming golden apple as she throws another blood potion down on his head. Well, that will not do. She has seen the way the golden apple heals, and she does not want the Smile to heal from the blood potions.

With a loud cry, she swoops down and grabs the apple away. Her feathers get tugged on briefly, and she winces, but she must get vengeance for her boy. Her boy will not have to hurt anymore.

One more blood potion, and it’s all over. Clementine chirps as she sees the Smile disappear in a poof of smoke. The players around him cry out, and she manages to grab one of the gleaming apples into her mouth, and pick up a shiny purple stick, before she flies to the tree, where she drops both things into the bag, before she flies away.

Mission accomplished. Day and Night will be jealous of what she has gotten to do. Now, Clementine will return to her boy, and get her daily head pats.


	2. on the defensive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reactions, like I promised. as I say with all my oneshots/short fics, if you want to see more, let me know and mayybeeee I’ll write more to this :D!
> 
> one thing you should note: this takes place as an au of the exile arc. basically, if you didn’t read the series description, instead of running to techno’s house, tommy continues running until he’s far, far away. 
> 
> also, there’s a whole part with schlatt where it’s said multiple times that he’s drinking, and is still drinking. yeah even in the afterlife he’s alcoholic but we don’t have time to unpack all of that now-
> 
> anywaysss here have chapter 2

_**[Dream was killed by magic]** _

_Tubbo_: HOYL FUKCING SHTI!!!_

_Quackity: A BIRD KILLED DREAM_

_Quackity: ANAHDAHAAHAHAHA_

_ItsFundy: DREAM JUST GOT MURDERED BY A B I R D_

_Nihachu: What?_

_ItsFundy: A BIRD JUST CAME AND PLSAHED POTS OF HARMING ON HIM_

_ItsFundy: AND HE DIED_

_Technoblade: LMAO_

_TommyInnit: WAIT_

_TommyInnit: WAIT THATS MY BIRD_

_TommyInnit: CLEMENTINE???_

_Tubbo_: TOMMY????_

_Quackity: TOMMYINNIT_

Tommy closes his communicator to stare at Clementine in disbelief. Clementine, who he just watched fly through a window, dump a bag containing an enchanted golden apple, a splash potion of harming, and a shining Netherite sword, and look to him for food. Clementine, who has just apparently _killed Dream with magic_.

He genuinely doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“You- you had a good night, Clem?” he asks. Clementine looks up at him and whistles in happiness. She flies over to Day and Night, and begins chirping. Night swipes at her playfully, and Tommy has a sinking suspicion as to who helped Clementine open up the cabinet doors.

Just his luck to have sentient and incredibly smart pets.

Tommy looks at the bag again. It’s half open, and he can clearly see the gleam of the apple within. He’s already taken the Netherite sword for himself, and the potion has already been put in the cabinet. With a sigh, he takes the apple, and tucks it into his enderchest, before turning to his pets.

“Right,” he says decisively. “You guys deserve a reward. I know you’re cats, but would you all like a small water playground? Clem, you can join in too, if you aren’t too troubled by the water.”

The happy noises that he gets is enough of a response, and Tommy heads to his pets’ playroom to begin building yet another toy for his pets.

There are four things currently going through Tubbo’s mind right now.

Number one: Dream just got killed by a bird splashing potions on his head.

Number two: There is a bird out there, whose name is Clementine, and who is smart enough to brew potions and use those potions.

Number three: Tommy is alive.

Number four: Clementine is Tommy’s bird.

After the initial seconds of trying to comprehend what just happened, followed by a full two minutes of hysterical laughter and mocking Dream both verbally and in the communicators, Tubbo finally has time to think everything through, and realise quite a lot of things.

The sheer hysteria of the fact that Dream had been bested by a bird is overshadowed by the fact that he now knows that Tommy’s alive. Tommy’s alive, and he’s somewhere out there, and Tubbo…

Tubbo doesn’t know where he is.

“Hey, Tubbo, you alright?” Ranboo asks him with a small frown. Tubbo looks up, startled.

“Oh, uh, yeah, just peachy!” he says. “I just… Tommy’s alive.”

“Yes, yes he is,” Ranboo responds, clearly not understanding. “But why are you sad?”

“I just… do you think he’ll let me talk to him again? I mean, I did exile him and all, and I didn’t really get a chance to say anything else to him before he disappeared, so I don’t…” Tubbo blinks back the tears that start to bead on his eyes. “Nevermind. I’m fine, Ranboo.”

“Oh,” Ranboo says simply. “That’s, uh, that’s rough, buddy. If it helps, you could just whisper to him? To just give it a try?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks, Ranboo.”

“Uh, no problem.”

“Have you heard, Schlatt?”

Schlatt has to stop himself from choking as Wilbur, once again, wakes him up by kicking him. He sits up, dimly noting that something about the afterlife has changed. In fact, it seems a little… brighter? Happier?

“Well in case you haven’t noticed,” he snarks. “I was _asleep_.”

“Yes, well,” Wilbur ignores his mistake, as he does to all of his other mistakes and problems, and continues talking. “Word has it that someone’s finally killed Dream.”

“Like, officially?”

“No, but the reason of the death makes it all worth it,” Wilbur has a smile on his face. Schlatt grabs another bottle, and takes a long, drawn out sip.

“Let me guess, falling to his death? Accidentally setting off one of his own traps? Got in the way of an arrow?” Schlatt guesses.

“Even better,” Wilbur says gleefully. “He died from a _bird_. More specifically, he died from _Tommy’s pet bird_.”

Schlatt takes a few seconds to process the hilarity and sheer incredulity of it. Then, he bursts out laughing, delighted in a way that he hasn’t been in a long while.

“A- a bird! A fucking bird!” he gasps through his laughter. He can hear Wilbur laughing with him too. “Oh my god! Oh my god!”

The room seems to brighten. The walls are a lighter colour now, at least. All the more reason to think that the afterlife is sentient.

“She wasn’t even a big bird, either!” Wilbur adds on, giggling. “She was a parrot! A cockatiel parrot! She’s barely half the size of his head! And the bird _killed_ him!”

The mere thought of it is hilarious in itself. A tiny bird killing Dream, just like that? Absolutely hysterical.

Schlatt manages to stop laughing, and take a sip of his bottle. “Damn. I guess Tommy must’ve done something for the bird to do that for him.”

“I’m proud of him,” Wilbur says. It’s times like this when Schlatt thinks Wilbur looks less of Bomber Wilbur, and more of Brother Wilbur. The latter only ever comes out when it comes to something that Tommy has done, anyways. “And that bird of his. I think her name was Clementine?”

Schlatt snorts, and takes another swig of alcohol. It tastes dull, as all alcohol in the afterlife does, but that doesn’t stop him from drinking. It’s not like he’ll be reaching ‘salvation’ anytime soon. Besides, he can celebrate the utter hilarity of Dream’s death by drinking.

“Good on the kid,” he says. “Good on him. And on the bird.”

Dream seethes. Every single one of his plans has been falling apart around him.

At first, when Tommy disappeared, Dream wasn’t all that worried. A little disappointed that he would have to start from step one of breaking him again, but it was nothing that time couldn’t fix. Except, when he tried to track him down… he was gone.

Tommy has practically disappeared off the face of the Earth. He hasn’t died, nor is he in the afterlife, he is just gone. No amounts of frantic searching or using his compass finds him either. He doesn’t show up on any of the maps that Dream has, but he is still alive and here. He’s just gone.

And it absolutely pisses him off.

And ever since that, everything has gone downhill. Tubbo doesn’t seem to fall for his tricks — come to think of it, nobody has been following his plans at all. Sapnap and George have both left, and when he goes to confront them, he’s greeted with the door slamming on his face.

He still pays Sam to continue building the prison, and orders Punz to keep an eye out. When he eventually finds Tommy — and he will find that cockroach — he’s going to put him into that prison. It’ll make it easier to keep an eye on him. He could spin some lie about him doing something bad.

That way, he can keep his ‘god’ presence on the server, and make it as a warning to follow his plans or else. Not that they know that, of course.

At least, that _was_ his plan. Before that stupid _bird_ came along.

Dream curses himself out once again, grabbing and putting on a new set of Netherite armour and tools. He has no doubt that all of his items have already been taken after his death, and if it wasn’t for that bird, he would still keep his menacing reputation.

It hadn’t even been a cool death! He had just been talking and mildly threatening L’manburg’s cabinet when the bird flew over, and in a matter of seconds, splashed potions of harming on him, and succeeded in killing him.

His reputation is over. He’s seen what they've said about him in the communicators. Not even the fact that Tommy had chatted in there, giving Dream another way of tracking him down, is enough to lift his spirits.

The next time he sees that bird, he’ll make sure to pluck each and every one of its feathers out. He’ll make a game out of hunting it down, even. It would make for a nice meal, anyways.

“The next time the Smile comes around, I hope you don’t mind if we do something about him instead of you,” Night stares at her, grooming herself as she says so.

Clementine pauses in trying to dry herself. “Well, since I’ve already gotten a chance, I guess you two need to have yours too.”

“Really? Sweet!” Day cheers, happy purrs making their way out of her mouth as she sits on her haunches. “Clem, you can bodyguard our boy!”

“Fine by me,” Clementine hums, remembering the satisfaction that killing the Smile had given her. “I’ll still steal his things, though. They’re shiny.”

“We’ll take all of his shiny things,” Night responds, and that marks the end of their conversation, as they go back to doing whatever they had been doing before.

_Tubbo_ whispers to you: Tommy? Can we talk?_

The message has been lying in his communicator for a long time. It had arrived in the morning, and now it is evening.

Tommy turns his communicator between his hands. He busies himself with building a quick water playground for the pets — he’ll make it better tomorrow — and he writes more things in another book. He tries to make a guitar, and fails, but makes plans to improve and make another one in the future. He cooks, and he bakes, and he distracts himself until he can’t anymore.

To be honest to himself, he isn’t sure he wants to see Tubbo again. Sure, he’s had time to reflect on himself, and he knows that both of them were tied by metaphysical puppet strings, and neither of them could’ve made it better with the way that they were, but he still exiled him. Tubbo still left him with Dream.

If he meets up with Tubbo, if he decides to talk to him… what then? A brief moment of happiness, only to be shattered by accusations and arguments? 

Tommy knows that Dream will still be hanging around L’manburg. Bastard probably has made plans to get revenge, and he’s probably already making sure everything ‘goes to plan’, or whatever bullshit he wants to make. He’s definitely keeping tabs on Tubbo.

Tommy doesn’t want to get unnecessarily hurt. He doesn’t want his pets to get unnecessarily hurt. He doesn’t want to set himself up just to be brought down again. He doesn’t want to set himself to be heartbroken again. 

But if Clementine can do something so dangerous as to confront Dream like that… maybe he could do something dangerous too.

_You whisper to Tubbo_: sure._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed :D!


	3. the cats interlude (but not really)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after a pretty long while, I present to you: The Cats Interlude
> 
> had to take a while to come up with a plausible death (and this death still isn’t plausible) but yknowww it’s my fic I can make Day and Night abnormal cats
> 
> do they look like normal cats? yes. do they like to pretend to be normal cats? also yes. are they normal cats? nope.
> 
> uhh a little shorter compared to the other two chapters but y’know it works so,,,,have fun reading?

This is their chance. Their boy is passed out on the sofa, and while it pains them to leave him alone, they know he can take care of himself.

Now, they have to repay his kindness, and murder that rat.

Clementine has already gotten to do this. Night approves of her tactic; she has felt first-hand how potions are like, and she despises the breaking ones. She knows that the rat must’ve felt at least some of the pain.

“We need to try a different tactic!” Day exclaims to her, dragging her satchel across the floor. “Like, Clem did really great and I loved how she did it, but I kinda wanna do something more… daring? I just want the rat to suffer!”

“You and I both, Day,” Night says, trotting next to her as they creep out of the window and into the night. Neither of them have brought anything, but that’s alright. The rat doesn’t deserve having time spent on him.

“I think I want to push him off a cliff,” Day wonders out loud. “But I think he’s smarter than that. He’s a smart rat, which is too bad for us, but we can find another way, can’t we?”

“We most certainly can,” Night leaps onto a small branch of a tree, and starts hopping from branch to branch, while Day runs below. “Any other plans? Or would you like me to think about it?”

“One of us can steal his things!” Day suggests. “I want to steal his things. Stealing is fun! You can handle the rest of the murder stuff, since I did kind of help Clem.”

To most outsiders, Day would seem like a dumb kitten who only thinks one thought at a time. To Night, however, she just simply doesn’t care all that much. Day is far older than she is, no matter how their boy insists that they are ‘twins’, and as such, Night lets her have the first word in.

“If you insist,” Night purrs. “I have quite a lot of plans that I would like to inflict on him… will you help me, Day?”

“Of course,” Day chirps. “I want him dead too!”

“Then we have a deal,” Night sniffs the air, and smells the faint scent of porcelain. The rat must be near.

Night cannot wait to enact her vengeance.

“Look at the rat, Night,” Day hisses, a mixture of awe and disgust in her voice. “Look at how he _shines_. I want to give that shiny stuff to our boy. He deserves all the shiny stuff.”

“Will you be able to carry it back home?” Night asks, stretching out her paws. The rat has stopped walking temporarily, and has a brown square placed on the ground of the big desert they are in.

Day hisses again. “No shiny stuff for now, then,” she admits defeat grudgingly. “But I will get a shiny thing for him. I will get _multiple_ shiny things for our boy.”

“You better,” she responds back. “When I rush off, you have to follow. We have to try and keep him within this area.”

“Gotcha!” Day chirps. “Are you ready?”

Night narrows her eyes at the rat, who has started walking again. With a soft cry, she dashes forwards, feeling more like a dog than the cat she is.

As the rat turns around, she pounces on him, claws digging into the shining things on him, the shiny things that the rat is _unworthy_ and _unfit_ to wear.

“What the hell?” the rat gasps, and wrenches her off. Despite that, Night stands on edge, hissing at the rat. “Fuck, you’re one of Tommy’s, aren’t you?”

The way the rat says her boy’s name fills her with rage, and she dodges the sharp weapon that comes down with ease to scratch at him again.

The rat tries to run. No matter, Night is a fast runner, and so is Day, who quickly chases after the rat as well.

Night continues yowling and scratching the rat. The rat may be able to teleport, but Night is not and has never been a normal cat, and so she catches up to the rat easily.

“How the hell are you still chasing me?!” the rat exclaims, and Night hisses. “Shoo, go away!”

“Day, help me corner him,” Night yells, and does not wait for an answer as she runs after the rat.

This goes on for quite a while. There are a few mishaps, like the rat building and going _higher_ , but all it takes is a few logical steps, and they are back on the same level. 

The rat seems surprised that they are smarter than they look. ‘Good,’ Night thinks.

An arrow grazes her fur, and she snarls. Guess she’ll just have to wrap this up faster than she wanted. Although, looking at how the sun’s rays are peeking over the horizon already, Night is pretty sure that she would’ve had to take care of this quickly either way.

“I hope you will forever be attacked by dogs,” she growls with scorn, scratching at him once more as the rat collides with a prickly plant, and uses her head to jab him further into the spikes. She then has to run away when the first few items start falling.

‘Death to cowardly monsters,’ she thinks vindictively, slowing to a stop just next to Day.

“Wow, the rat has so much!” Day exclaims, rushing forwards with her satchel when it is safe. “Ooh, these are shiny… but oh, this looks so cool! Oh wait, there’s so much more-”

Night tunes Day out as she starts licking her fur, her eyes closing. All that running has made her exhausted, and while she does not regret it, she needs some rest. She knows Day can handle picking out the best treasures for their boy anyways.

After a while, she hears Day’s paws coming closer, and opens her eyes.

“Can we go back now?” Day asks her. “I’ve gotten everything already, and I think our boy will wake up soon to give us food.”

Night takes a mournful look at the other items strewn across the sandy floor, but she follows Day away, the promise of food too tempting to give up. “Yes, we can.”

**_[Dream walked into a cactus while trying to escape Night]_ **

_TommyInnit: WHAT_

_Technoblade: HEH_

_TommyInnit: WAIT MY CATS ARE FONE OH MY GDO_

_Tubbo_: ow_

_Purpled: lmao dream died to two pets_

_Purpled: this is hilarious_

_ItsFundy: rip to dream but im built different and i wont die because of animals KEKW_

_Quackity: LMAOOOOO_

“At this rate I might just have to give you communicators,” Tommy sighs, looking down at Day and Night, both of whom are eating their fish bits in enthusiasm.

The two cats look up at him, the perfect picture of innocence. Tommy sighs, and glances over at the things they’ve brought back.

Ten Netherite ingots lay on the table, besides an enchanted bow and a potion of healing 2. Clementine is looking at the Netherite ingots curiously as Tommy picks up the bow, gives a little twirl, and makes a note to rename it to something better.

“You both did good,” he tells them gently, and his cats preen. “But don’t put yourself into danger like that again, alright? Don’t want you getting too hurt, after all.”

Day and Night exchange looks, and continue eating their food. 

Tommy laughs softly, letting Clementine land on his shoulder as he goes and gets some extra food for Day and Night. They need the calories, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> haha hope you enjoyed :) once again this is kind of an au in the bigger insouciant-verse (and no, this isn’t in soundless chatter, nor is it in the ellisinnit au)
> 
> second part will include everyone’s reactions :3


End file.
